Top Ten of 2007...Part Three

This is the final instalment of my Top Ten of 2007 and it is the most difficult for me. This one is the Top Ten Music of 2007 and there is so much good stuff that giving my Pat Seal Approval, which in turn will make these bands and artist even more popular than before, is almost impossible. I know that I am not a writer for Pitchfork or Blender so I do not necessarily know exactly what I am talking about except I know I feel something when I hear these albums and I am going to try and write about each one from my feelings on it so go easy on me. Anyway here is the Top Ten Music of 2007.

10. Amy Winehouse - Back to Black
First heard the song Rehab on the radio and really liked it until it got really popular to the point where I did not want to hear the rest of the album. Then when I got to listen to the other songs besides the popular Rehab, which is a good song, the album made me think of an soulful blues album, really good chill music.
(Favorite Song: You Know I'm No Good)

9. Iron and Wine - The Shepard's Dog
This album was folkey but very catchy and I just got hooked on a few songs. I could think of some clever words to describe the music but it is soft and puts you at easy when you are listening to it.
(Favorite Song: White Tooth Man)

8. Spoon - Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
A classic Spoon album, I do not think as good as there Gimme Friction album but you think they are due for a bad album and Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga would seem like one but surprisingly holds up very well.
(Favorite Song: Don't Make Me a Target)

7. The White Stripes - Icky Thump
Another band you thought was due for a bad album because they have been so successful that they could not live up to the hype but then the single Icky Thump comes out and no way this album was going to suck.
(Favorite Song: Catch Hell Blues)

6.M.I.A - Kala
M.I.A. likes to mix rap with that India feel that it makes for an amazing rap experience. I sometimes catch myself dancing like a buffoon in a Bollywood musical in my living room when I am listening to her, none of the neighbors have complained about it yet so I will keep doing it when I listen to her.
(Favorite Song: XR2 )

5. Baby Teeth - The Simp
An obscure choice to round off the top 5 I agree. I have never heard of them until this summer and being introduced to them through a friend and then seeing them live in concert in Iowa City, and though it was a small venue and a small crowd they still rocked my socks off. Their music makes me think if David Bowie had a love child with Elton John then you would get Baby Teeth. If interested in learning more about them I can definitely send you their album it is worth a listen.
(Favorite Song: The Simp)

4. Kanye West - Graduation
Wow. From the open track "Good Morning" to the hit song "Stronger" to the final song "Big Brother" there really was not a bad song it was an amazing rap album. I do get tired of hearing "Stronger" all the time at sporting events but it is still a good song.
(Favorite Song: Good Morning)

3. LCD Soundsystem - Sound of Silver
I never really got to listen to their new album before I saw them opening for Arcade Fire and I was blown away by how they sounded. I think I lost 17% of my hearing that night and most of it coming from LCD Soundsystem. Seeing the lead singer, you would not think he could sound so beautiful but then BAM! After the show I went back and could not stop listening to the album. A combination of Disco, Funk, and all out fun. Each song just makes you want to dance in your seat.
(Favorite Song: All My Friends)

2. The National - Boxer
This is a close second losing just by a nose for the number 1 album of the year. This is not to disrespect Boxer because it is an amazing album, I usually will be singing songs from it out of the blue for no reason. I loved their first album with Alligator and was taken to a new level with Boxer. It's songs are so hypnotic you get lost in them and never want to come back, by starting off soft and then building it up to an awesome climax.
(Favorite Song: Fake Empire)

1. The Arcade Fire -Neon Bible
Not a whole lot to say that has not already been said about this album. It is good, really good. Did not think they could get better from their album "Funeral" but they some how did it with a haunting touch. I think I have listened to this album 20 times and I can not skip over one song.
"Neon Bible" took Arcade Fire to the main stream which was evident when I saw them live with LCD Soundsystem opening for them. A lot of people you would think are not into Indie music were going crazy for The Arcade Fire. It had to been the best concert I have been to and is the best album of the year in my opinion.
(Favorite Song: Intervention)

When I said this was tough to make a Top Ten I was not joking because there are some good albums I had to leave off, including Jay-Z's - American Gangster, Radioheads - Rainbows, and Les Savy Fav - Let's Be Friends. I also wish I could included songs on the list instead of a whole album because there would have been for sure on my list UGK - I Choose You (featuring OutKast) and Patti Smith's Cover of Smiles Like Teen Spirit. That is my list though and I hope I turned a few people on to some new stuff and hope to hear some suggestions for albums I missed.

That is 2007 wraped up.

Top Ten of 2007...Part Deux

Sorry for the delay on my Top Ten List of 2007. Now with my movies I am not going to lie, I have not seen a whole lot of movies this year mainly because there was not a good ones to see. I agree "I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry" and "Wild Hogs" are Oscar caliber films, but I really did not want to see those. There is also some movies that I still want to see, most importantly I want to see "Juno" and would imagine it will jump into my Top 5 when I see it, so I am going to put that at number 8 because the trailer looked so good already. Any way here is my Top Ten of the movies I have seen so far for 2007.

10. The Simpson's Movie
9. Blades of Glory
8. Juno* (until I see it it will jump up)
7. (open until I watch another film from this year)
6. Air Guitar Nation
(Great documentary about my favorite past time)
5. Knocked Up
4. Hot Fuzz
3. King of Kong: A Fistful of Quarters
(Another great documentary about breaking the Donkey Kong score record, really recommend it)
2. Super Bad
1. No Country for Old Men
(so suspenseful, it was amazing)

I will wrap up my Top Ten of 2007 tomorrow with the most important catergory, best music. Though it will depend on how well the Vikings are beating up the Bears on Monday Night Football, until next time.

Top Ten of 2007

Well I thought since the year is coming to an end, time for me to give my Top Ten of 2007. I will be doing categories in books, TV, movies, and finally music. So for today I will be giving you my Top Ten in books and TV. List comes from the "home offices" of Columbus Ohio...

Top Ten Books of 2007 (editors note: since I did not read ten books this year I am going to recap some of my old favorites that I re-read this year)

10. High Fidelity - Nick Hornby
9. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas - Hunter S. Thompson
8. The Areas of my Expertise - John Hodgman
7. America the Book - Jon Stewart
6. A Long Way Down - Nick Hornby
5. Sex, Drugs, and Coco Puffs - Chuck Kolsterman
4. Anybody Can Be Cool...But Awesome Takes Practice - Lorraine Peterson
3. Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
2. I Am America (And So Can You) - Stephen Colbert
1. Youth In Revolt - C.D. Payne (Favorite book of all time)

Top Ten TV of 2007

10. Friday Night Lights
9. Scrubs (reruns)
8. South Park
7. 30 Rock
6. The Office
5. The Daily Show
4. The Colbert Report
3. Planet Earth
2. Flight of the Conchords
1. The Sapranos

That is the list if you would like to learn more information on Pat's favorite Books and TV of 2007 let me know. Tomorrow I will have my Top Ten in the cinema for 2007.

Hot Stove Report

Thompson to Test Free Agency
Pat Thompson (Ohio State) Interested: Twins? Cubs? Brewers? Royals?

ESPN's Buster Olney reports that young marketing prospect Pat Thompson is opting out of his Ohio State contract to test the Free Agent Market at the MLB Winter Meetings in Nashville next week. Thompson a hot prospect out of Iowa, is ready to make the leap to the pro's.

A source told the Chicago Sun-Times that the White Sox are not likely to pursue Thompson because he will cost more than the team is willing to spend. The Twins are expected to make a heavy play for Thompson, who is seeking a long-term contract with no-trade protection that could garner him up to double his age in salary.

Mama I'm Coming Home

As the great Ozzy Osbourn has stated "Mama I'm Coming Home." I will be heading home for a week and do not know if I will be writing anything for the holiday but if something good were to come up I will write something. If anyone is in the Twin Cities and wants to hang out let me know I will be home for a week.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Mirror Lake Jump

Thursday night was my baptism into THE Ohio State. Tradition has it that the Thursday before the Michigan-Ohio State football game, student go jump into Mirror Lake at midnight, which is located in the center of campus. I do not know why they do it this jump in every year, but it is tradition here and tradition is like crack to a crackhead here, they can not get enough of it. Seeing as I only live once I decided to join in on the festivities and jump in at midnight. Now the week before and even the day before the jump it was highs in the 50's and sunny and at night just maybe a low of 40. Basically not cold at all to jump in, well as luck would have it the night before and all day Thursday was a huge cold front that brought cold rain, sleet, and some snow. I spent all day at work on Thursday trying to bundle myself up and make myself warm enough, where I could not feel the near freezing temperatures of the lake. (side note: As a person from Minnesota, Land of 10,000 Lakes, I know a lake when I see one and let me tell you this is no lake it is a pond at best, but don't tell that to the crack heads here because they will get defensive)

After work I got my wardrobe ready and went of to my friends house to get some liquid warmth (wink wink). We were getting anxious to jump in so we decided to go around 11:30pm, now I have never done this before and everyone was telling me stories about how many people do this and how you will get lost from everyone and might not find anyone, well I found a picture from last year to show how many people do this jump.

Well as we walked to the "lake" from my friends house which was about half a mile away we began to realize as the sleet was coming down that the run back from the "lake" was going to be freezing seeing as the temp was hoovering around 32 degrees. As we were getting closer to the "lake" it began to get louder and you saw people who were soaking wet and freezing running back the other way, one guy began tell people, "Don't do it, do not jump in, it is too cold!" This would have scared me a little bit if it was not for the liquid warmth I had been doing for the last 3 hours (wink wink). We finally reached the "lake" and there were thousands of people out there. As we got closer to the edge of the "lake" there was a stampede of people that were rushing into the "lake" and a stampede of people rushing out of the "lake", it was pure choas and I could tell we were going to lose our friends that were going to hold our warm clothes until we came out. We finally stripped out of our warm clothes and I was down only to shorts. Here is the picture before we took the plunge.

(For those who have not seen me in a while, I am the one on the right)

After the picture was taken we took our mad rush to the freezing "lake" and with out hesitation jumped in. The "lake" is only about 3 feet deep and once I was in I began jumping up and down and splashing myself and everyone around me for a good 2 minutes. After the warm adreline rush of jumping in it began to hit me that this water was cold and my feet were the first to tell me (I jumped in bare foot). I was in for about 4 min when I decided it was my time to get out and get warm. I fought the current of people rushing to get into the lake and finally out of the water began looking around for my friends with the warm clothes. I could not find them so I began looking for the people I jumped in with, after looking for a while I finally found Klye (the guy on the left of the photo). We both were freezing and were trying to find the people with our clothes, after about 10 minutes we gave up the search party of trying to find our clothes and made the decision to run back to the house half naked. That was the fastest I have ever run before, espically since I had no shoes on and I was running right through the downtown of campus, along the way people were high fiving me and cheering me on. We finally made it back the house and I quickly dried off and got warm clothes and I now can officially say I jumped in Mirror "Lake".

Looking Back

I got today off from work and it is probably a good thing that the Athletic Department got that day off so we can adjust to losing to Illinois. Now I am not really mad just disappointed because I would have been able to get tickets to the Championship game and I would have gotten the opportunity to purchase a exact championship ring if we won. I really just want to be with a winning team once in my life. With sports you may never have the opportunity to be apart of a championship team, I could be with the cubs my whole life and it could be another 100 years before they even get into the playoffs. I am also dealing with the Vikings get worked over from the Packers and Andrian Peterson getting hurt. Also my Ohio State Hockey team has not yet won a home game and there are reports of tension in the locker room, so overall it has been a terrible sports weekend. I have been getting some trash talk and some condolences from people, mainly both from my grandma.

Oh well, time to move on as we are about to face our biggest rival against Michigan. As part of the rivalry tradition, the Thursday before the big football game, Ohio State students go in at midnight and jump into mirror lake. Since you only live once, I have decided that I am going to do this Thursday. If I survive hypothermia I will try and get some photos up from it.

Lesson Learned

Sorry for the delay from my next post, but I am still recovering from the epic posting on my Iowa City trip. That and I have been delaying posting this because I was peeved at what happen to me that I was debating posting it. Oh well I will post it any way...(it is not as good as you think, not quit a Pat Moment)

Last Friday I had a busy day with getting ready to coordinate an 80,000 Rally Towel giveaway at football the next day, plus I had a hockey game to work that night. I was dressed in my best for the Hockey game, but I had manual labor to do at the stadium with the towels so the day was starting out bad by getting my sports coat and dress clothes dirty. The rest of the day was getting ready for Hockey and working that game my marketing was sub par at best. The music was off, the promotions were not that good, and we lost 4-0. Basically it was a bad day already and after the game it was going to get worst.

After the game some of the interns were going to go out to drink, I decided to come along and have a cold won because after the day I was having I needed one. I did not have time to go home and change so I went out on the town in my sports coat and dress clothes. Normally I would look good but because of the manual labor early in the day and working a stressful hockey game, I looked like bum looking Freddie Prince Jr. Plus we went to college bars in which I was "that guy" who over dresses to try and impress the girls and just looks like a dork. Basically I did look like a dork who was overdressed. So striking out with the ladies was pretty common that night as we came back to my friends house where my car was, I looked around and could not find my car and I just realized that it was towed (I did not think it was stolen because honestly who would steal a Subaru Outback, a gang of soccer moms?). Well my friend knew where the tow place was but I had to go around trying to find an ATM at 3am to take out a lot of cash to pay for my fee. Finally find one and pull up to the tow place and I can see my Subaru in the fenced area, since I was still in my dress clothes I felt like a dad bailing out his son from prison, happy he is safe, but disappointed in him and will be punished later. I soon discovered that only the classiest people are at a tow shop at 3am and I was way over dressed to be here. I could tell that some of the employees in the back of the shop were making fun of me, either for me being in dress clothes this late or it was that they realized I was the person driving the Subaru Outback they towed.

Finally getting my car back for $150, I was so beaten down from the day that I could not get mad at the whole situation, could not yell or make any swears, just was flabbergasted the rest of the night. Fell asleep at about 4am and had to get up at 7am to work football. Basically this was one big lesson learned.

Pat's Odyssey Act III

Without further a due my running diary of Saturday in Iowa City.

7:30 a.m. CT: Woke up in Toby's house wondering why the hell I am up this early on a Saturday when I do not have to work.

7:45 a.m. CT: Now I remember why I am up this early after buying a 12-pack of beer at the local gas station.

8:10 a.m. CT: Parked the car and cracked open the first beer of the day, have not done this tailgating thing in about three years but after that first sip, this is something I could get used to.

8:20 a.m. CT: Arrived to Rally Alley in horror as the giant inflatable to welcome visitors to Rally Alley has already been put up without Russ and I helping out for old time sakes. I cry a little.

8:21 a.m. CT: Remember all the horrors about cleaning that giant thing on my last day of work and begin contemplating taking a leak on it.

9:00 a.m. CT: I love how you can just walk around with a 12 pack and an open beer drinking before noon and it is considered normal.

10:00 a.m. CT: After walking around looking for other tailgates, decide to come back to Rally Alley to bug everyone and get free food out of it.

10:50 a.m. CT: Now with a full belly of free food and a lot of beer in us, we decided to help out the marketing staff take down the giant inflatable, it got really emotional for Russ and I as we just help push it down and deflate it, after that we quickly ditched the marketing staff when it came time to pack and lift the inflatable in the van.

11:25 a.m. CT: Up in the Press Box watching the game, saying hi to old staff members, poor Russ was getting annoyed that no one remembered who he was and people were just doing those fake pretended to remember you talks without ever using his name. But everyone remembered me and missed me.

12:05 p.m. CT: Hawkeyes offense is sucking it up first half, thank god they sell beer in the Press Box otherwise why would anyone want to watch crappy football.

12:40 p.m. CT: Hawkeyes are down to the Spartans at halftime, the band is playing their traditional Halloween theme music, nothing special but the highlight was the announcer of the band using Halloween terms in the PA, example "The Iowa Marching Band is hoping you are having a spooky good time." "The marching band is led by our own ghoulish (golden) girl." Everyone in the stands did one of those "that was stupid" laughs, hehehehehe.

12:50 p.m. CT: Just like old times Toby makes me go and get some autograph of one of the TV announcers who won the Heisman Trophy, don't worry I am tacking on the hours to what they owe me for the Message Center work.

1:15 p.m. CT: Beer sales are ending, which is probably a good thing because the Hawkeyes are making a comeback, I think they know I am back in town and are giving one for the Gipper (that's me).

1:28 p.m. CT: Just love watching the 70,000 fans that can not sit in the Press Box like me, one of the few joys I get for knowing people in sports.

2:07 p.m. CT: Just got more bang for my free ticket, we are going into overtime.

2:40 p.m. CT: Hawkeyes just won in overtime and though Michigan State was not ranked or really considered a big upset for us, our fans decide it was appropriate to rush the field. I guess when you are having a terrible season you take the moments when you get them.

2:55 p.m. CT: You think our Hawkeye sports are done for the day, but the football game was just the tip of the iceberg. We head over the Carver-Hawkeye Arena to catch the basketball teams scrimmage against each other. I like our odds for this game, I think we can beat ourselves.

2:59 p.m. CT: Just got sneaked into the arena without paying for a ticket, when you know people they can help you get free admission to a $5 event. Just some more perks of the biz.

3:28 p.m. CT: Watching our team play against themselves is just as exciting as you would think.

3:35 p.m. CT: One amusing thing about the scrimmage was during a time out for the music selection they decided to play some Frank Sinatra, really do not hear a whole lot of Frank at basketball games anymore. It did not get the crowd pumped up or anything, but it was entertaining.

4:15 p.m. CT: Game Over, Black 42 Gold 26. I just lost a thousand bucks on that game, Gold just did not have enough hustle to beat themselves.

4:30 p.m. CT: You think our Hawkeye sports experience is now over, but guess what (what?) there is a volleyball game at 7 p.m. The Hawkeye Sports Marathon continues.

4:45 p.m. CT: Russ and I decide to go to the Wig and Pen for a flying tomato pizza, on the way out some drunk was trying to get into Carver with an open beer. I explained to him that he could not go into Carver with an open beer, he did not care. He kept trying to get around me to get in, but I kept telling him he can't with that beer. He decides to set it down and go inside we start walking away from him when we see he turns around to go get his beer, now I am pissed. So he is walking away from me in Carver with his open beer and I tell him I am going to call security and proceed to take out my cell phone and pretended like I am calling someone. He finally says fine then tells me to hold his beer for him, I do and he stumbles his way to the bathroom. I take his beer outside and just chuck it on the ground and dust my hands in a cool way. (man I am such a bad ass)

5:00 p.m. CT: Walking towards the Wig and Pen, keep checking my back to make sure no pissed off drunk is charging at me because I chucked his beer on the ground.

5:11 p.m. CT: The lady at the restaurant ask for my name to put on the waiting list, I tell her Pat Thompson and she stares at me with confusion and ask me if I am the same Pat Thompson from Facebook. I said yes and realized this girl is some random friend on Facebook page but we have never met before, small world.

6:30 p.m. CT: After a few beers and a full belly of pizza we say good bye to my random Facebook friend and head to the final Hawkeye sporting event for the day.

8:30 p.m. CT: Iowa Volleyball got worked by Penn State, saved you some reading.

9:15 p.m. CT: Head out to a house party to see some old friends, forget that it is Halloween weekend which everyone dresses up in a costume and of course I did not bring my costume, (side note: my costume this year was going to be a flying monkey from Wizard of Oz)

9:17 p.m. CT: I tilted my trucker hat to the side, had a scruffy beard, and decided I was going as a college student because I am no longer one, that it would make a perfect costume. I kept talking about how much I was looking forward to the new Dave Matthews Band album and talking about how that mid term last week kicked my ass. Everyone thought my costume was stupid.

9:55 p.m. CT: Just saw a penguin and a bunny win in a game of beer bong and I was not drunk.

10:25 p.m. CT: Getting really tired, been up and drinking for over 12 hours and just do not think I can make it out to the bars the rest of the night, we decide to go back and crash at our friends place and finish the night by watching the Disney movie Hook.

11:10 p.m. CT: RU-FIO! RU-FIO! RU-FI-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

11:54 p.m. CT: Finally going to sleep and realizing I did not get to hang out with everyone at the bars, so feel bad, but then realize I have to be in a car for over 10 hours while listening to the Vikings lose to the Eagles with an Eagles fan in the car.

Amazing weekend, glad to see everyone and hand out my business cards, sorry to everyone that I could not spend more time with, but people are more than welcome to come out here and visit me. You know where I live, you have my business card.

Happy Halloween

I want to say sorry to my loyal readers for not getting my running diary of my Iowa City trip up tonight, I was working late (drinking) and the Smith account was kicking my butt (Jager Bomb), and I could not get it up tonight (passing out) so I apologize for not getting it up like I promoised, but besides my late work (drinking) it was Halloween and I had to pass out candy to kids (no one came to my apartment, I was just in my underwear drinking and eating Milky Ways) Tomorrow I promise my running blog of my trip to Iowa City will be up (I sound like one of those dads who promises alot to their children but is always out getting drunk, but really I will tomorrow)

-Sorry

Pat's Odyssey Act II

Now fully rested from my crazy journey to Chicago, Friday Russ and I packed his car and head towards Iowa City. I started the drive off by screaming in a very girlish voice, "Iowa City here we come!!" If anyone has seen us two together, you can tell right off the bat that we act like dorks and make a lot of jokes. So both of us being in a car for 3 hours you can only imagine what was going on. Most the time it was us making, "That's what she said" jokes, or "your mom" jokes or it we were talking to each other in stupid voices. Probably for a good hour we talked non stop in British voices. I can only imagine what other drivers were thinking as we passed them acting stupidly in our car, probably thought "Must be Iowa fans."

Well after our 3 hour dork fest, we finally made it to Iowa City and I promptly screamed in my girlish voice, "Iowa City here we are!!" When I left Ohio State, I made sure to pack a lot of business cards because lets be honest, everyone wants my card. When we got into Carver Arena, we had one of those chills going back to our marketing office, mainly because we saw that the marketing staff was in full gear getting ready for a football game, the basketball blowout, and a volleyball game all occurring Saturday. As we walked back into our old offices, we saw some familiar faces and met some new ones, all who got my business card. Just like old times, right when I get there, I have to go up to the Message Center to fix some problems with the matrix boards (how are they surviving without me?). After working for an hour and fixing the Message Center (don't worry I am sending them an invoice) I went around different offices seeing old coworkers and handing out my business cards like they were going out of style (don't worry there still in style). Even if people were not in their office I just slide some business cards under peoples doors (that's just called good networking).

After hitting Carver we decided to go out to a place I did not know existed in Iowa City until I turned 21, a bar (that should fool my parents from thinking I drank before I was 21). After having a few drinks and a few laughs, we went off to dinner with our former boss and his wife. Had a few more drinks and a few more laughs and then it was time to get ready for the game tomorrow. We decided to crash at our bosses house instead of going out, so we could get up early for gameday Saturday (for not going out we missed out on a gang fight stabbing near our friends house, maybe next time)

Well tomorrow the exciting conclusion with a running diary of our Hawkeye Saturday Sports Extravaganza.

Pat's Odyssey

It was decide Wednesday that I would leave Thursday after work and begin my comeback journey to Iowa City. My plan was to drive to Chicago Thursday night, crash at Russ's, and then drive to Iowa City Friday. My plan was so flawless that nothing could go wrong.

Thursday I got conflicting directions to get to Russ's house in Chicago, one from Yahoo.com and then the other from Google.com. I decided to go with Russ's Google directions but before I left at work was new employee training at Ohio State. This was strange because I have been here already for 4 months and the stuff we talked about I had to learn the hard way. Any way this took up all my day and then at 4 pm when we were done with training I had to get all my work done before 5pm when I needed to be on the road. I was rushing to getting all my work done that at 5pm but finally hit the road around 5:30 and was expected to get in around 11pm. Again the plan was so good nothing could go wrong.

I am not used to Google directions, but everyone was going smoothly until I hit Indianapolis. Now if you know me, you know that I am terrible with directions, I can not give out directions or understand them, I am just plain bad with them. Well once I hit Indy I may have accidental taken an exit I should have not taken and kept going for a good 15-20 minutes down this road before I began to get concerned. Basically what tipped me off that I was not going the right way was the road I was on which started off in the city began to turn into a country road and I drove past a country bar that looked like the same country bar the Blue Brothers went to. Now I kept going down this road because the Google map was adjusted by Russ to supposedly get me to Chicago quick, little did he know my ability to get loss. Well I back tracked and found the road again and was on my way to Chicago and nothing was going to go wrong again.

Well heading from Indy north to Chicago was no problem until I hit the city. Little did I know that at 11:00 when I hit the city I ended up in the South side of Chicago. I discovered this when poor people began coming up to my car for change at the middle of a stop light. Well I turned down my rap music and locked the doors and tried not to stand out, but it is difficult when you are the only white kid in a Subaru Outback listening to rap. Well this was one place I probably should not get lost in, but as luck would have it I some how ended down some side streets by some apartments, I think they were Section 8 Housing so again not the best place to get lost in. After some quick back tracking and some alternate roots I finally got back on track to Russ's house. Where nothing was going to go wrong again.

Now I am on the home stretch, the Google directions said to take the North Higgins exit toll then merge on to South Higgins, I was confused by this direction, was I supposed take North or South on Higgins? Well in my quick decision, I listened to the directions and went South and took it for about 20 min when I called Russ trying to figure out where I was. Russ informed me I was an idiot and was going the wrong way and needed to go North. Now that I was finally headed right direction, I was so pissed off with getting lost so many times and back tracking that nothing could go wrong again.

I am so close to Russ's house I can taste it. Russ is now guiding me on the phone because I kept getting loss so much that he gives me a simple direction that once in his town to take the road Cary-Algonquin Rd. It was late and I was tired of driving that I was losing focus on roads, when I came into a town I thought was Cary and then I saw a sign for Algonquin Rd, thought I was finally at Russ's house, when I kept driving and could not find his house. Well I called Russ and tell him on Algonquin Rd and can not find his house, he can not understand why I am not near his house. Then I describe some of the landmarks I am near and he asks if I am in the city Cary, I look around and I was one town away from his, but my big beef was why is there the same road name in two towns right next to each other? Well I was in such a rage of how a road could have the same name this close to each other to confuse the hell out of out of towners like myself, that I sent a letter to the Chicago Department of Transportation and voice my complaint to change the name of the street. If you feel the same way as me you can sign my petition. Anyway after alot of backtracking, swears, and being called an idiot by Russ, I finally made it to his house around 12:30 an extra hour worth of driving that was not excepted. If this is a sign of things to come then it was going to be a wild weekend.

Tomorrow: Pat's Odyssey continues with Russ and I driving into Iowa City.

Iowa City or Bust

Get ready Iowa City...I'm coming. That's right, I am making my triumphant return to Iowa City. Stay turned as I will give you a detail report on my trip back to Iowa City as I will be experiencing Iowa Volleyball and Iowa Football as a fan for the first time in over 4 years. With any luck there will be a few Pat Moments to go around, so tune in next week, same Pat Blog, same Pat time, for Pat's Pantheon!

Promotion

As many of you might know, last Friday I had my first game for Men's Ice Hockey here at Ohio State and what I do is the game coordinator. Pre-game I write up all the PA's, get promotions set, and any other general things that have to get done before the game. During the game I am in charge of playing the music during stoppage, coordinating the matrix and video boards, coordinating the band to play, and coordinating my interns (or slaves as I call them) during the game. So there is alot I am doing during the game. The picture in last blog is me in action, as my sister said I look like a young Bob Costa, I do not know if that is a joke about my height or just because I am that good looking. Either way my first game went off without a hitch, we lost 5-1 but I like to think we won on the marketing side 4-3. Well I must have done a great job because today when I came into the office I got a book from the CCHA (our hockey conference) that is basically an information guide about all the schools in the conference, so I went to Ohio State section and look 3/4 down...

I am titled as Marketing Director. I have been promoted. As I showed all my coworkers and my boss my new title and then fired all of them with my new title. They all had the same response to me..."Pat your a dork." A dork who is Marketing Director, so if anyone has a problem with my new position and leadership style (Stalin-esqe) you're fired!! (TM) (Just had to pay Donald Trump $200 for using his trade mark, catch phrase, but it was worth I make the Director bucks now)

Hi Mom!

Ever since I started going to school, I have always had my picture taken of me before the first day of school. My mom would make me stand infront of my house with my book bag pretending to look excited about getting on the bus and going to school. As I got older my mom still forced me to get my photo taken in the same location before the first day of school. When I went to college I still did it for my mom took of photo of me before school. Well since I no longer go to school (thank god) and am part of the working world I decided to take a photo of me at my first Ohio State Hockey game as Game Coordinator. Here you go mom, my first day on the job.

iPat

It is official I broke down and bought an iPod. I never thought iPods would catch on to the public. Really, I thought people would not buy into this idea of having 20,000 songs in one little hand held device when people were so used to burning 20 songs on a single CD. I know I am stubborn with change like this I went through the same phase when I had to change from taping songs off the radio to burning CD's, (that was a hard one to change, I still enjoy my Meatloaf mix tape). I also did not want to get an iPod because I have a grudge against Apple for not using my dance moves in one of their iPod commericals. They said I didn't move much and was just watching the other dancers as if I was at a middle school dance. Basically my dancing skills are just as good as I was in middle school, whatever they can not appreciate it.

Now I have only had my iPod for a couple of days now but I took it out for a test drive today. I noticed when I went to school at Iowa, and even here, that students like to walk around campus while listening to their iPod. Seeing as I have never done this before, I decided to give it the old college try and take it for a spin around campus. As I was listening to Meatloaf (I transferred my tape mix over to my iPod) I started noticing looks from other iPod users. I like to sing while I am listening to music and walking around public with my iPod I began either singing under my breath or lip syncing "and I would do anything for love..." Seeing the looks from other iPod users, I found out this is not proper iPod etiquette. The correct way is while listening to your music in public to have no emotion on your face. Which is strange to me because people like to have their car stereo on loud and like to sing loud so everyone around the car knows they are having a good time, why can't I have my iPod loud and me singing loud so everyone will know I am having a good time? Just seems like double standards to me. Oh well back to Meatloaf, "Like a bat out of hell..."

Pat's Pantheon Picked Up for Second Season

Columbus, OH (AP) - Loyal readers of Pat's Pantheon were given good news today, as it was reported that the cult hit blog would be picked up for a second season. Blogger.com announced the blog would be brought back for another season in the Monday, Wednesday, and possible Thursday time slots right after Claire's Crib blog (http://www.clairescrib.com/) in hopes of gaining more viewers.

Pat's Pantheon was launched in July and follows the charismatic Pat Thompson as he struggles with work, women, and life in his new surroundings of Columbus, Ohio. Fans have grown in cultish followings since the debut of the blog and have grown to love Pat's postings. A fan favorite has been the Pat Moments.

Though fans were worried about the blog when the blogger began experimental postings about McDonald's commericals, ghost riding, and comparing himself to Freddie Prince Jr. Fans were also worried that the blog might not get picked up for a second season when the postings would be spread weeks apart and come at infrequent times, a tell tale sign that a blog might not get picked up.

Pat had this to say about being picked up for another season, "I want to thank the loyal readers for their support in my blog getting picked up for another season."

Pat has mentioned that season 2 will keep the fan favorites but he is not afraid to push the envelope. Rumors of new postings include running diary's, celebrity cameos, and a possible Christmas special.

"Season two is going to be full of surprises," said Pat "It will rock your socks off."


Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

Did I miss something here?

Did I not get the memo? Was I out to lunch at the time? Was I sick that day? Where was I? Can some one explain to me how every girl seems to be in a relationship right now? Did I miss out when everyone was pairing up and I was just the only one left out. I feel like in grade school when the class had to pair up for a science project and because our class had odd numbers I was always left out, which meant I had to be a third wheel to another pair, which explains why I am so good at it now. I just keep meeting girls and I keep finding out that they are in a relationship. Here is how a typical conversation goes when I meet a girl.

Me: "Hi my name is Pat, what is yours?"

Girl: "ummm my name is _________" (insert fake girls name)

Me: "Wow that is a cool name" (storing it in my head so I can facebook her later)

Me: "Hey did you know I have a blog?"

Girl: 'Yeah I am waiting for my boyfriend."

These are my typical conversations with women. Now, I think mentioning that I have a blog is not the best pick up line, but my logic is that if they do go to my blog than they will see my sensitive side and want to maybe go on a date...

Darlene (couldn't find her on facebook) if you are reading this, I think there was a connection between you and me at the bar the other night and maybe you would want to go to the local drive-in, ice cream shop, lovers point, or whatever it is that kids do on dates.

Pat Moment #658

Chalk up another one. Not a huge back story with this Pat Moment, just a typical Pat Moment. Basically me and the coworkers were at the soccer stadium trying out a on field promotion for an upcoming soccer game which is basically a punt pass and kick with a soccer ball. So we were trying it out on this really sunny day and the promotion was going fine and we were kind of joking around with the soccer ball. I had my sunglasses on my head because it was so sunny and one of my coworkers kicked the ball towards me. Trying to show off my mad soccer skills in front of my coworkers, I decided while the soccer ball was in mid flight coming towards me that I was going to try and head butt the ball. As the ball began it decent to me I was lining up with my head thinking I was going to make an awesome head butt. The only thing stopping me from performing a kick ass head butt was that I forgot my sunglasses were on my forehead. I came to that realization when the ball was a foot away from my head and then it was too late. The ball decided to hit my sunglasses dead on and then pierce an indentation of the sunglasses into my forehead. It hurt like hell and had a nice sunglasses lump in my forehead, but I think I impressed everyone with my mad soccer skills though.

I'm a Big Kid Now

Well I finally feel accepted into the working world with this...

That's right Pat has business cards now. These are professional too alot better than my home made business cards

I have been given these new bad boys out like crazy. The local homeless man Doug has one, I give them to bartenders as tips,I was given 5000 I think I have about 153 left. Usually I just have them in the palm of my hand so when I shake hands with someone they are given to them right there, really more time efficient that way. Plus it is cool to hand these out to the ladies at the bars, usually I put some messages on the back of them when I had them out, "I can get you tickets to Ohio State sporting events (wink)" This so far has not worked. Let me know if you want to be part of the select view that get to have one of my business cards. I might put a special message on the back of each one (wink)

See Pat, See Pat Work, Work Pat Work

(Me closing the deal on the Johnson Account)

Do I smell?

OK I know when I took this job that I did not know anyone out here. That did not bother me at all, I assumed I would get to know people here or just be by myself, whatever nothing big to me I probably will die a hermit anyway. So I was recently out at a bar and entered into some raffle, I do not remeber doing it for sure but I guess I did because I won. What I won was a free drinks at this bar for 2 hours for me and my "friends". I was presently surprised about winning this but the problem was I did not have any "friends" here to come and enjoy this with me. So I decided to send out an email to people I recently met here telling them about my prize I won and wondering if they would like to join me for free drinks. Guess how many people jumped at the chance to hang out with me. Go ahead guess...lower...lower...lower. Give up...zero. That is right zero people. Basically I could not get people hang out with me even when I offered free beer. If that ain't a kick in the pants. Looks like I will be that guy at the end of the bar who is drinking by himself. Welcome to Ohio State, the most friendly place in the world.

Happy No Labor Day

Hope everyone had a great day of not working. Mine kinda of boring mainly because I was still recovering my first Ohio State football game. Saturday was a gorgeous day in Columbus for football game. Ohio State took on Youngstown State, which their team name is...anyone...anyone? That's right the fightin' Penguins. Their mascot was a giant penguin that was wearing a scarf and a stocking cap, plus they also had a female penguin mascot. Who basically just had eye lashes to show that it was a female. The whole time I was watching them I was expecting Morgan Freeman to come on the loud speaker to narrate the penguins and the game.

(Morgan Freeman voice) "The penguins marched their way off the field and I'd like to think that the last thing that went through their head, other than that bullet pass for a touchdown, was to wonder how the hell the Buckeyes ever got the best of them. Well you either get busy living or get busy dying"

I was up at 6:30 and there at 7 and looked like I like I still was asleep, which I pretty much was. My job responsibilities during the game were to make sure 65,000 McDonald's coupons got handed out at the gates to the fans as they entered the game. My other responsibility was at half time I was given the first half stats and had to make about 2000 copies in 3 min and have them in the hands of fans as they wait to get food at half. Both went OK not the best but for my first time doing a massive hand out I think I did pretty good. One of the funny things though during the game was pre game around all the tailgates. We have these season long all-access passes to get us anywhere in the stadium. This is one of the reasons I love working in sports because this pass hangs around my neck and I walk around like in Wayne's World showing off my pass to everyone. Well walking around with some of the other employees in the tail gate area a ticket scalper saw our passes and wanted to buy it off us for a thousand dollars. Really tempting, we turned him down but it is in the back of my mind in case I do get fired from the job and need to turn some money around quick. The best though was after the game fans stuck around because we put the Michigan game on the video board and fans went crazy after they lost, I have never seen so much passion for one team hating another team. It is starting to come over me I really hate Michigan, mainly because they did not like my job interview with them, well their loss because Ohio State wanted the best of the best, so eat it Michigan!

Wrap not Rap

I just had to tell everyone about my new favorite commercial. It is the new McDonald's commercial about the new Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap. It is the snack wrap you love but a little spicier. If you do not know what commercial I am speaking of, here is the link to the commercial.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63rkNFeSYco

Now let me give you the back story of the commercial since I have watched it and analyzed it over 76 times.

Our hero is about to go and help his Mexican friend move her art of Mexican hip-hop around her house. When he gets a call from her telling him to, "bring her a wrap with a little spice." Our hero says no problem, but as soon as he hangs up the phone he is in a conundrum, did she say to bring her a "wrap" with a little spice or a "rap" with a little spice? Our hero knows how much this friend is into the Mexican hip-hop scene but also knows that she might be hunger from moving all her hip-hop art. What is our hero supposed to do? He decides instead of calling her back to confirm which of the two she was wanting, he brings over both. First he goes to McDonald's and orders the NEW Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap (only at participating McDonald's) he then calls his buddy Rico explaining the situation he is in and asks him to come up with a Mexican rap about this girl and her beauty. Rico says no problem and within minutes Rico has written a song and they are on their way to this girls house. Confident that his plan is flawless, our hero informs Rico that he is going to add his own lyric at the end of his rap about the girl. Rico allows him on the condition that he gets one of the NEW Chipotle BBQ Snack Wraps. Our hero knocks on the door and the girl answers it while her two friends are in the process of moving some of her Mexican hip hop art. Rico begins his rap as our hero looks on confident with his plan in motion. At the end of Rico's rap our hero adds a little spice to the rap with his "wiki wiki". The girl now looking more confused than ever is trying to process why her friend would bring her a Mexican rap. Our hero explains to her that she told him to bring "rap" with a little spice. The girl explains in anger ,"Wrap! not rap!" She is furious with our hero because she will not get to have McDonald's NEW Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap. Our hero though has been planning all along for this moment. He quickly acts as if he did not realize she meant "wrap" instead of "rap" shows her the McDonald's bag and laughs off his first attempt of the rap like it was all a big joke. Our hero goes away victories and thanks his buddy Rico at the end with McDonald's NEW Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap and attempting to wrap his name that the end. This commercial had it all drama, suspense, humor, and our hero gets the girl at the end. Oh I also forgot to mention that today's Blog Post was sponsored by McDonald's NEW Chipotle BBQ Snack Wrap (only at participating McDonald's)

Unsung Hero

I do not know about you but when I go out to the bars and have to go to the bathroom I love it when there is a bathroom attendant in there. This has to rank 7th on my list of greatest inventions, just behind air guitar and pushing the key guitar to 8th. I do not know if they have these attendees in the women's bathroom because I have never ever ever ever ever been in a women's bathroom... well it happen two times one time when Lisa from work broke the toilet in the women's bathroom creating some short of massive whirl pool in the toilet. Me being a man and supposedly knowing how to fix these, did my best but could not. The other time was just my accident because they did not label the doors well enough and when I walked in and saw all stalls and no urinals I quickly hit reverse and backed out unnoticed thankfully.

Anyway back to bathroom attendants, these guys are the greatest. He's a quick with a joke or to light up your smoke but there's someplace that he'd rather be. He says "Pat, I believe this is killing me,"as the smile ran away from his face "well I'm sure that I could be a movie star if could get out of this place." la la didi daala la didi daadaa dum. Sorry I was listening to Piano Man while writing.

Bathroom attendants are always there for you when you need a towel or a mint or when you need to smell good, they are the best to suggest which cologne. My guy the other night Randall gave me a good cologne and helped me dry my hands. They are the unsung hero's of the bathroom. I always tip these guys and I suggest that you all do too.

It is begin to look alot like Christmas

I was so excited I had to tell everyone that I already got my Christmas shopping done already! This is a first for me since I am usually one of those last minute Christmas eve shoppers trying to find the Chia Pet in a 7-Eleven. "Merry Christmas mom and dad it is another Chia Pet you love so much". Well not this year, I got everyone some great gifts. I do not want to spoil what I got for everyone because that would ruin the joy of the birth of our savior. I will tell you though I got a really good deal from this Chinese man who was just basically giving away all these great toys. All name brand stuff too, do not know why he was giving them away but its a steal for me. The Chinese man did give me one warning with these toys. He told me not to put any of the toys in my mouth. Just a heads up when you get your gift from me there will be a nice note from me cautioning you not to be tempted to taste the toys.

125 days and counting till our saviors Bday!!!

Vote or Die

When I was first told about office politics I thought it was some sort of office version of a high school student government. I thought that we got to vote on different people in the office to be president and then they would go fourth and fill the duties of the other office people. Basically the popular office people would be voted in, then get the cool offices in the building and basically fight to get more vending machines and water coolers so we can sit around and talk about popular TV shows from last night. Man some times high school is just like real life.

Turns out I was way wrong on this one. Looks like office politics is a bunch of back stabbing and being shady to get their own personal gain. What would our fore fathers think? Since I am just a new employee I really have no say in any matter or can control too much. I do not know which parties there are in office politics, but I am considering the Libertarian Party. Not that it is all bad, but it is a new world I am being exposed to.

Working at Ohio State almost feels like working for a big corporation like AT&T or Time Warner. Basically my life is slowly turning into an unfunny version of the movie "Office Space" I am serious. We have a guy in the office whose is the like the Michael Bolton character except his name is Andy Devito and he does not like when you make jokes about him and the actor (serious). I do not have a red stapler that I am obsessed with, its blue. If anyone tries to take my blue stapler I am going to burn the office down.

Who you going to call???

I do not know how many of you are educated with the "street" but I have spent my time down on the street and consider my self an honoree ambassador to help educate you middle class folk.

I want to let you in on a new trend that is finally hitting Columbus. It is called "ghost riding the whip"

Ghost riding is when a person puts the car in neutral or allows it to idle and then the driver (and passengers) of a vehicle exit while it is still rolling and dance beside it (for those who do not know, "whip" means car.)

Basically this is the coolest thing to do ever since rolling down your windows and blaring your music to let people know what music you are into. Now you can show off your favorite music plus your dance moves.

Ghost riding is also known as "going Patrick Swayze," or just "going Swayze," referring to Patrick Swayze's lead role in the movie Ghost.

It is probably just as cool as your friends jumping off a bridge, so I recommend everyone doing this. I have been doing this lately and I am the toughest kid in Columbus. Once I can get a video posted on this blog you can see me ghost riding, but just imagine me "going Swayze" with my Subaru Outback, as I am popping and locking along side it. Until I can post the video here is the instructional video on how to ghost ride a car.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hJDLRCXR2ZM&mode=related&search=

He's All That

I have started to notice when I meet new people at work or at the bars there is a central theme that keeps getting brought up and it is starting to annoy me. People keep telling me I look like Freddie Prinze Jr. First of all I correct them and tell everyone that its the other way around, he looks like me.

Here are photo evidence that prove Freddie Prinze Jr. is actually copying my style.

oh a suit, real original Freddie and looking away from the camera, where ever did you get that idea from?

He even copied me when I was going through a phase of shaving my head.

Seriously dude stop copying me, get your own style.

I also think that because Freddie is copying me, he stole my girl. That's right, if Sarah Michelle Gellar would have seen me first and not this copy cat, we would be married and having beautiful babies, unlike Freddie which are all going to ugly babies that he teaches to copy me.

Well I guess imitation is the greatest form of flattery.

Though because of his "fame" it is getting a little out of hand in my world. My boss will introduce me to other people in the office as Freddie Prinze Jr. When I go out to a bar people will come up and want to get pictures with me. I am more than happy to take a picture with a fan but I just get annoyed with the paparazzi, I mean I have a right to a private life.

I basically just wanted to get people aware of the fact the Freddie Prinze Jr. is just riding my coat tails and this needs to stop. I am sending Freddie a seise and desist on him copying me. I am also suing Freddie for copyright infringement, I am asking that I get the royalties he collected from his movies because the only way he got those roles was because of his looks (have you seen Summer Catch, he did not get that for his acting). My lawyer, whose office is a mall kiosk, thinks I have a good chance on this case. I will keep you informed on the proceedings, you are going down Freddie. (careful he might change is name to Pat Prinze Jr.)

Moving on up

In all the busyness of starting a new job, embarrassing myself in front of my new coworkers with sand all over me, and having my cheek balloon out I have not gotten a chance to talk about me new digs. As some of you might remember my old apartment in Iowa City I called it the crack house, basically I did not live in the nicest area of town. Every month or so their would be a domestic disturbance problem in the neighborhood that would bring out the local police. My apartment was very small 1 bedroom and you get what you pay for. Not to say that it was all bad because I will miss talking to our local bum Harold who always rummaged through our dumpster every Saturday morning. He was a nice guy where I set some cans aside just for him. Well my new place is a huge upgrade. Comparing the two the view here is right off the river, the crack house was a level view of the parking lot and Harold in the dumpster. My last place had a grand total of 340 square feet, the new place has over 650 square feet. Which means I have a lot of living space that I have never had before. If someone is to walk into my place you can tell I have no idea what to do with all this space. It is a work in progress but I bet by the time I leave I will get a couch, no guarantees I am not good on getting stuff like that so we will see. Any suggestions of how to decorate would be appreciated look at what I am dealing with.

Look away I'm hideous, part deux

Well it is your typical Tuesday evening for me, drinking beer and watching Everybody Loves Raymond. Well I decided to write another posting just to spice up my Tuesday. First things first, some of you have not believed my posting a week back that my face swelled up and I had to take my staff picture with my disfigured face and that the photo I posted was not me. I was technically telling the truth. That picture was not me on the Buckeye ID, that was actually photoshop photo of Rocky Denis from the hit movie Mask staring Cher. Everything else is completely true and to prove my point here is the picture on Friday of my face.


As you see I am starting to look like Rocky from the hit movie Mask. Also I am looking like a picture you see either on Americas Most Wanted or to Catch a Predator. To set the record I am not wanted on Americas Most Wanted or a predator I just want to set that record straight in case future employers look at this.

Right now nothing to much new is going on, the job is getting a little more stressful with the season getting closer and alot of meetings I have been attending. I have started to notice I am wearing more and more Dockers pants and less jeans which is very scary to me and making me have a young life crisis, as I think my youth is starting to leave me as I get older. I think I might go do your typical young life crisis and purchase a bunch of Ambercrombie clothes and maybe get some aviator sunglasses. I do not want to let go of my youth it is all I got going for me.

With great power comes great responsibility

I do not want to alarm anyone but I think I may have discovered time travel. I know I did not believe myself at first but I began to notice things that fueled my suspension when I moved out to Ohio. First I noticed that my cell phone jumped an hour ahead with out me touching it. Second, the 10 O'clock news did not start at 10, but at 11. Finally some one told me everything is an hour ahead from what I was in Iowa. Don't be alarmed but I have time traveled an hour into the future. First of all it is nothing like the future in Back to the Future II, people are not flying around in hover cars, kids to not have hover boards as skate boards, and there are no sporting book almanacs that I could send back to the present and become a billionaire, trust me I was looking. The future seems to be pretty much the same, George Bush is are president, we are at war in Iraq, and we are having oil problems. Wait a second, maybe I am not in the future at all, but the past? I think I am in 1991, oh my god I must warn the future about boy bands, the XFL, Tom Cruise, and Tickle Me Elmo's.

Look away I'm hideous.

OK first of all I am in a depressed mood with KG going to Boston, Johan Santana wanting to leave the Twins, and the Vikings just being the Vikings basically it is not a good time for MN sports right now. I solider on keeping my Minnesota head up but it has been a tough week not just in sports but personally too.



Last Friday I was told on Monday the whole Ohio State Athletic staff would be taking pictures to be put up on the website where our bios would be next to the photo for the whole world to see. Well I was excited because it meant I could wear my awesome jet black suite that all the ladies love. When I got home to try on my suite to make sure I still looked good in it, which I did, I started to notice something on my cheek. It was beginning to swell up, no matter I said probably a little pimple. Well it swelled bigger and bigger and I had no clue why. I think it was a allergic reaction to something or it could have been gout. I began to ice it thinking the cold would bring it down, it did not work I think it made it worse. That weekend I tried every method to make my cheek go down, I took pills, iced it again, face cleansers, and nothing was working. My last ditch effort was to pray for the best as I went to bed Sunday hoping a miracle would happen and my face would look just as good as it always does. Well I woke up Monday and notice the swelling was starting to engulf my eye basically it felt like high school pictures when I was in puberty. I put on my suite and tried to look my best but there is only so much you can do when it looks like you are 9 months pregnant on the side of your face. I went to work anyway, even though I could have called in sick, and got a lot of stares from coworkers and laughs. I went to the photographer and told him the situation . He tried to do as much as he could with the lighting and filtering his lense but there is only so much filtering you can do before it is too fuzz to see me. He assured me that they will be photoshoping them so I have nothing to worry about. Well I just got my ID back and I want to know what you think. I think they did a really good job and you can barely notice the swelling.

HOW DID I NOT THINK OF THIS!?!

I just discovered probably the coolest invention ever here in Columbus and mad I did not think of this before, so let me set this up like a bad infomercial for you.



How many of you have had this problem before?

(black and white background)

You are driving home from the bars when you want to get more beer, but you do not want to leave the comfortable confines of your car. There is no way to beat the system you have to get out of your car, go into a store and buy your beer. Plus when you get inside there is the problem of walking around, liquor store robberies, and the constant threat of terrorists, there's got to be a better way!


(back to color background)
Well now there is...with the Drive Thru Liquor Store!


With the Drive Thru Liquor Store now you can just drive into to a garage looking building, get your booze, and pay without ever leaving your car. This amazing invention saves time, money and gets you drunk quicker, who can beat that.




Here is the picture below of what I am talking about and wish I came up with this idea because it is a perfect service for drunks on the go.

It Pays to work at Ohio State

Don't let me fool you, it pays to work here at Ohio State. I mean besides the monthly stipend just mentioning where I work around here gets people to like me a lot. I called to get basic cable setup at my apartment because it was cheapest and as I was talking to the sales person on the phone he asked what I did for a living, I mentioned how I worked for the Ohio State Buckeyes the guy was so excited for me. He put me on hold and when he came back he said he found a special offer going on right now for the same price as basic cable I can get digital cable. Why the hell not would I do it, so I did. When I called back about some billing stuff I got a different sales rep and told him I was on a special offer and he looked at my sheet and told me that the guy gave me $20 off my cable bill for no reason. Another example I was buying gas at the station and went inside and my bill, it was $20.03 I gave the clerk a $20 and was about to get some change out of my pocket when the clerk told me to keep my money, I did not even explain to him that I worked for the Buckeyes and he pulled some money from a special holder on the counter, I think that holder is just for Buckeye employees like myself. Things are looking up for me.

Pat Moment #572

OK who had 6 days? Who predicted that in 6 days I would have my first Pat Moment here at Ohio? If you picked 6 days congratulations, please come down to claim your prize a nice upside down cake.

Well I knew it was going to happen eventually I was just hoping it would have been more than a week before I embarrassed myself in front of my coworkers, but again it is me. Let me set the scene for you...

When you work in athletics you get a lot of cool "swag" which is just basically promotional crap like key chains, tote bags, and toilet plungers, you know the usual. Since I have started here I was given a lot of Ohio State "swag" a cup, a pom pom, a stress balloon, t-shirts, and a water bottle. That day I was playing with the stress balloon, now these are balloons with the Ohio State logo on it that you can grip it to relieve all that stress that builds up for a 23 year old like me. I was really griping this balloon because again I have a lot of stress in my life and just when the stress was building up to a point of rage where I could have gone postal on everyone when all of the sudden the balloon popped and the contents that was inside, which was sand, went all over me, my desk, and my computer. Of course all my coworkers laughed at what happen to me while I am sitting in a pile of sand at my work station. I tried to brush myself off, but you know sand it will not go away just as bad as glitter. Just chalk up another moment for Pat, but at least this time I did not cry until I got home, then I jumped into the shower with my clothes on, turned on the cold water, got into the fetal position and just cried.

Are you a terrorist? It is ok you can tell me.

I do not know how many of you have recently gotten a new job, but I noticed something when I was filling out paper work for Ohio State. I was in fill out the usual documents like my W-4, Health Insurance, and power of attorney when they handed me a new document to sign. This one asks me if I am or have ever been apart of a terrorist organization that is on the U.S. list of terror. There were five questions asking me yes or no if I am a terrorist. Now I am not saying that this is racist or that the Patriot Act is a invasion of our privacy, but I began thinking about this if I was an actual terrorist and filling out this form. (I am not a terrorist, I love America, and please government stop reading my blog) Now, if a terrorist was actually filling out this form would you think they would actually answer yes to these questions? Like this is our best line of defense against terrorists, the same type of questionnaire that people survey about what they like about their fabric softener. I was getting nervous when answering the questions in case I did screw up an circled yes that I was a terrorist and wondering if I did, then all of the sudden the office gets raided by FBI agents and I am drugged and taken off to Guantanamo Bay. Luckily I passed with flying colors and am a proud American. Strange, there is this Flower Delivery van with a satellite on top parked outside my apartment all the time...how long does it take to deliver flowers?

Baby you can drive my car

Sorry for not posting in a while but I just got Internet at home so let me try to catch you up on things:

It has been one week since I officially arrived in Ohio State and there were some complications on the way. First I was going to leave Minnesota on Monday morning around 4am for the 12 hour drive with my mom and my lady mobile aka the lady getter aka PT Cruiser, really it was the 94 Ford Escort Wagon. Well fate decided that the lady getter has served its time and decided to crap out on me and was just about to kill me if I attempted to drive to Ohio with it. Well with the cost higher than the car would be worth I decided to purchase my mothers car which was a total change of scenery for me…are you ready…ladies look out, next time I will be picking you up in my new 98 Subaru Outback Wagon. The wagon life line continues, I am like a soccer mom but with wagons. Anyway do to all this we did not leave MN till about 1 pm which meant we got into Ohio at 3am their time. Needless to say it was a long trip. But there was some humor along the trip. We took a gas break just after crossing into Indiana at around midnight and I went to the bathroom in this gas station and usually in side men's restrooms there is typically a condom machine, because I know when someone is about get lucky you need to swing by 7-Eleven first. But what about the people who are not getting lucky...Yet. Well have no fear because in this restroom their was a machine for condoms and a machine that sprayed cologne. For a quarter you got to choose from 5 different popular colognes, stand right in front of the machine, move a dial to your cologne and then push in a button to get sprayed on. Sadly no matter what cologne comes out they still smell all the same...a 7-Eleven bathroom.

Please be gentle, it's my first time

There are three great inventions in the history of mankind and here they are in order:

1: The Wheel
2: Sliced Bread
3: The Internet

That's it. That is the whole list, those are the greatest things mankind has done. Nothing more needs to be added to the list, I just did it, your welcome.

Before the Internet came along the 3rd spot was reserved for the plastic caps at the end of shoelaces called Aglet's, but when you have an invention that is basically 3/4 adult websites and the other 1/4 being people writing their opinions on which is better Star Wars or Star Trek, than you got to give the Internet the 3rd spot.

Well with that said I am a virgin to this blog thingy that kids are doing so much on the Internet these days. I started this to keep in touch with past friends who did not want to talk to me but maybe just want to read about me. So here is Pat's Pantheon, and for those who do not know what Pantheon is, Webster defines it as :

(noun)
1. the place of the heroes or idols of any group, individual, movement, party, etc., or the heroes or idols themselves
2.A temple dedicated to all gods

So basically this is my temple that is dedicated to your hero, me.

My blog will be a place where you can hear about how work is going at Ohio State, how I have been striking out with the ladies, and any other funny Pat Stories (again Pat Stories are those stories in which things that sound far fetch or ridiculous only happen to me). This blog is only to talk about my life, I will not get preachy on why the Garfield movie is better than The Godfather, any political stuff, basically I will not get on a soap box. I will though bring up more interesting things like, why do they call them jumping jacks? Was Jack the first one to invent this (#57 on the list) I would call them jumping "X's" makes more sense than jacks.

I will also give life lessons to you young ones out there about the real world. Pat Lesson 1: When having a phone job interview that is in different time zones, make sure you know what time, in which time zone, the phone interview takes place. So you do not miss the phone interview by an hour.

See helpful lessons.

Thank you for joining Pat's Pantheon, keep checking back for more postings and give some suggestions on how to improve my blog, I was thinking of designating a song to be read with each post so you can feel my emotion as you read it, but that could be something later down the line.

Keep on Rocking in the free world!

(thanks for being gentle with me, that was not so bad, I could get addictive to this, I bet the ultimate fantasy is posting two blogs at the same time, that would be sweet.)