If I Can Make It There, I Can Make It Anywhere

I know this is a big holiday weekend for everyone and most have been circling your calendars for Sunday. For those who do not know what is going on this weekend, it is my birthday. Yes I will be turning the big 24 this Sunday. I know many of you are planning on showering me with gifts and making special trips out to see me in Columbus, but I hate to be the barer of bad news but I will not be here for my birthday on Sunday I will be sitting in Yankee Stadium watching the Yankees take on the Mariners. I and some high school friends are making the trip to New York to see Yankee Stadium on Sunday and Shea Stadium on Monday before they tear down the stadiums at the end of the season. I will not be back into Columbus until Tuesday so you can call me to wish me a happy birthday on Sunday and you can send your gifts to me though I will not get to them until Tuesday. I will of course have stories to tell about my trip to the big apple, but until then enjoy the Pat Thompson Birthday Weekend (aka Memorial Weekend).

Happy Mother's Day!

I would like to take time to say Happy Mother's Day to my mom and my grandmothers. I would like say thank you to them for having to deal with me as a child, but since I was such a perfect child growing up they should be the ones thanking me for being such an angel...your welcome.

In honor of the day I have decided not to make one "Your Mom" joke all day. Let me just say this is very tough, but it is worth it to all the mom's out there, but the other 364 days are fair game.

LOVE YOU MOM!
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!

Talk Derby to Me

Well I got to check off another sporting event I had to see before I died. Last Saturday I went down to Louisville, Kentucky to catch the 134th running of the Kentucky Derby. I do not know how many of you watched the Derby but if you did you probably saw me, I was the one guy in the infield of about 80,000 people at the fence of turn three and you probably could have seen me for about 2.3 seconds on NBC when the horses went by. I was the guy wearing a green shirt, and no I was not wearing a fancy hat. It is OK if you did not see me because you had a better view of the Derby than I did, let me explain with a photo essay:

This was a park we passed by on the way to Louisville it made us laugh alot.


Erica selling her hat to some guy for $20 and a Natty Light, good negotiating

Line to get in, only one line to pay with credit card, thanks Visa for not opening another line, took 2 hours to get in from this spot in line.

Jon, Tina, and I drinking our mint juleps. Those things are disgusting.


Rich kid showing off his money to the mass people below waiting in line to place a bet. I really wanted to jump security to punch this kid. This is why I hate rich people.

The mud bowl around in turn three. I would love to see the rich people in there.

And they are off!

There they go, I saw them for about 2.3 seconds.

And the fans are off, this is right after the big race, but they still ran two more races.

This was a fun trip and I am glad I can say I have been there before, do not know if I would do it again though, but we will see. If there was one thing I took away from the Derby it is that if you are a female and break your ankles they are going to kill you on the spot, so to all my lady readers out there be careful.

We Want a Pitcher, Not a Belly Itcher

So I did not want to bore everyone with my work but April 19 we had our Spring Football Game and we had a men's lacrosse game before it and we tried to break some attendance records. I am happy to say we got 29,601 to see the lacrosse game which was a regular game season attendance record and for the Spring Game we had 77,000 + which was an Ohio State record, even though we had a rainy day which held some people back but I will take it. Any way I wanted to talk about the Cincinnati Reds game I went to on Monday night. We got some good seats for free about 13 rows up from the Dodgers bench. Now with good seats like these and a few beers in you it only leads to some good old fashion heckling. Just to set the record I am in favor of heckling in baseball if it is in all good clean fun, I do not use swears but just fun heckling. So it started with making fun of Andrew Jones who used to be a good hitter for the Braves but when he got to the Dodgers he got so bad that he was batting 8th, just in front of the pitcher, that was an easy one. A few beers later it went on to other Dodger players all getting chuckles from the fans around us. Then I had a heckle that brought the house down (more like the few rows around me who thought it was funny). There was this Dodgers fan who was sitting front row and cheering like a good loyal fan was, but when you are in the opposing teams house you should expect some heckling. Here is a photo of him I took:



So here is the story, a foul ball came his way and he caught it and began to stand and cheer about how awesome he was for catching a foul ball. The fans around the area began to boo him once the boo's ended was my time to shine. Just when it was quite enough I yelled out, "Go back to your mom's basement to play video games" This got some good laughs from the people that heard it, I even got a high five from some guys around me. I thought it was so funny that I had to tell other people after the fact what I had said and now I am telling you way after the fact, but I still find it funny. It has gone down as one of my finest moments in life.

Million Dollar Idea

I want to pitch this idea to all you investors out there that want to double your investment:

If you had a time machine would you go back in time and invest in Google before it became big? Or maybe IBM? Or maybe even sliced bread? Well those opportunities are gone but this one is the next big one. While I was out at a bar drinking I was talking to someone who drove a fork lift and it dawned on me of the next evolution of the fork lift. What happens when you want to lift something, but you also want to dig something at the same time. Well the fork is used for lifting and a spoon is used for digging and what is the combination of a fork and a spoon? A spork. Once the spork came into my head I knew I had a winning idea. The Spork-Lift (Registered Trade Mark) is going to be the next great machinery with the combo to lift and dig at the same time. I put together a mock up of what the Spork-Lift will look like. If you are an interested investor please contact me for more information.

April Fools!

hahahahahahahahaha

Gotcha! Totally fooled all of you!

...OK I realize that I fooled no one and probably confused more people than I tried to fool. My first flaw in this joke was me telling you I got a girl pregnant. As people pointed out to me that for this joke to be possible I would have to A) Hit puberty and B) Understand how to get a girl pregnant. To my defense, I did take Health Class in high school so I know how it works and I have been noticing my voice getting deeper and me growing hair in places that did not grow hair before. The second flaw in this joke was the link I attached to it, most people were confused as why I would trick people into viewing Rick Astley's music video "Never Gonna Give You Up", that was pretty much my whole April Fool's joke was tricking you in to viewing this "awesome" music video. As the newest crazy going around the internet is called getting Rick Rolled, here is what the Urban Dictionary says about Rick Roll:


From the Urban Dictionary

Rick rolled: To be tricked, through any method, into clicking a link that takes you to the Rick Astley video "Never Gonna Give You Up".


Basically how I liked the Ghost Riding video I talked about in my post in the fall, but no one else really understood, this is the same situation. Basically I am a dork and that was the whole joke making you apart of my dorkiness. Now you realize how good of an April Fool's joke this was, so stop calling me a dork and appreciate my work.

Big News

Sorry I have been not keeping up to date with my blog about the Big Ten Marketing Meetings but the short summary of it in an equation is take 45 sports marketers add 2 nights of free food and booze from sponsors equals not remembering a whole lot. Though that story is not the bigger issue at hand. I have been tackling a big issue and did not want to mention anything until I knew if it was true or not but looks like it is. I have found out that I am going to be a father. I know this must come as a surprise to many of you as it has to me. I do not know where to begin but I think alot of you can put it together on how it happened. I posted a youtube video of me and the mother getting an ultrasound. Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yu_moia-oVI

Gun Show

Last Saturday I had no sporting events to work so with nothing to do I got tickets to the gun show. The Arnold Classic was being held in Columbus and some coworkers and I decided to check it out and maybe pick up some steroids. As we were walking up to the Convention Center where it was being held at you could sense the increase in testosterone and the Convention Center had a weird green glow to it. Once we got our tickets we walked into the trade show where there were stands of people selling protein supplements, energy drinks, and even a guy who was selling the least legal amount of HGH. The best part were some of the celebrities that were there, I saw Triple H from the WWE, the original Incredible Hulk Lou Ferrigno, and I got to see the one and only Arnold Schwarzenegger. This was definitely worth the price of admission all the jokes about gun shows and steroids were too much and then I saw these ladies/men (I do not know which one they are, that is why I had to get a photo with them)



Needless to say my neck hurts but it was worth it. Next week I am heading up to Ann Arbor Michigan for the Big Ten Marketing Meetings and will be out for the week so when I return from my trip I am sure I will have stories to tell. Until then just enjoy the photo.

A Season to Remember

Well I did it, I survived, I finished my first hockey season. This was a whole new experience for me and one that I will not forget and one I can put under my belt. The whole season was baptism by fire and getting thrown into this I was so happy to finish the season with out any physical damage to me or others, the mental damage on the other hand. The final game I bought a bottle of champagne and popped it open and wanted to celebrate like I just won the World Series even though our team did not have a good year. Though I did get to toast with all my coworkers who helped me out this year. Any way the video guys did a little tribute to me. After we scored a goal I saw this go up on the jumbotron in front of 8000 fans, I guess this is my 15 minutes of fame, they are calling it the PT Dance and I had no idea they did this so needless to say I was speechless when I saw it and I think it confused the hell out of 8000 fans who have no idea who I am, but I found it hilarious, enjoy. (I recorded this off my computer because the guys put a DVD together for me of the PT Dance that lasted over an hour long, just imagine this for one hour, needless to say I love it)

Mustache Rides

I am sorry it has been a while since I posted anything but I am winding down the hockey season and it was getting crazy and could not find time to write much. What I do want to bring up though is how I mentioned a few postings back that I grew out a strike beard for the writers of my blog. Most people did not believe me at all and I can not blame them, most people said to me when I told them I was growing a beard, "Pat girls can not grow beards" or "You have to hit puberty first before anything grows” Well sense the strike is now over and I have photo proof of my beard plus I decided since I was shaving it off for the strike to see what other facial hair would look on me so I give you the many faces of Pat.

Bearded Pat

Goatee Pat

Handle Bar Pat (aka gay Pat)

And finally Mustache Pat (aka Porn Pat)

Gettin' Lucky in Kentucky

Well after last week I decided I needed alittle road trip, so my friend hooked me up with some tickets to the Tennessee-Kentucky basketball game. Game was on Tuesday and tip off was set for 9pm. So right after work, Klye a coworker and I jumped into my car and began driving down to Lexington, KY. It is roughly a 3:30 hour drive and thanks to my awesome Christmas gift of a TomTom GPS for my car I am never getting lost again. This GPS will definitely hurt any Pat Moments with me driving and getting lost, but it is worth it. So made it down got to get in a good game which Kentucky upsetted Tennessee picture below is our view from our seats

After the game though it was getting late and we decided to drive back that night so we could make it to work, did not start our trip home until 12:30am, knowing we would not get back till about 4am we decided to hit a gas station and load up on energy drinks and sun flower seeds. Well we pulled up to a gas station but did not know if it was open or not because some of the lights were turned off, there were no people around, and it looked like it was just about to close. I pulled the car parallel to the building taking up 3 spaces to see if they were still open, we saw a lady at the cash register putting lip baum on and we were looking at her mouthing if the store was open. She had no reaction and continued to baum her lips, then we decided to try and sign language our question by giving her a thumbs up or down (up obviously meaning open and down meaning close) again no reaction and she still continued to baum her lips. Finally I said screw it and just decided to walk in and see if the door was locked. It was open and as I came I apologized to the lady at the register that we did not know if the store was open or not. Now I do not know if it was because we parked across three parking spots or that we were mouthing something to her or that she thought we were giving her gang signs with our thumbs up/down, but right after I said sorry, she firmly told me that she has pepper spray, showed me the pepper spray can and told us not to try anything stupid. Well that was not the welcome we were excepting. We were a little shocked by that and quietly tried to find our stuff not to piss her off. As I was buying my sun flower seeds I could tell that with one hand she was processing my transaction while the other hand was on the trigger of the pepper spray just in case. I took my 48 cents in change, said thank you and left Kentucky. Finally got in at 4:09am with no problems and got up to go to work at 9am (I got in around 9:35).

Another good thing I learned was that I am getting $600 back from the government plus an additional $300 for that kid, George, nobody knows I had (damnit now they know). So I am trying to decide how to spend my money, I could get 3 $300 hair cuts, or maybe use the money to legally change my name to Freddie Prince Jr, or maybe use that as some funding for my movie I am producing. It is called "Marketing a Dream" it is a coming of age movie where our hero, Paul Terrace, or as his friends call him PT, is the young talented upcoming marketer of a highly successful marketing firm. He has alot of raw talent but his ego can get in the way and begins to alienate his coworkers. When he turns to drugs to get the same rush as marketing, he losses more than his job, drug dealers kidnap his illegitimate son George. PT must rescue his son before it is too late, find the girl of his dreams, all while trying to get that dream job of marketing the Minnesota Twins. PT is...Marketing a Dream. Coming in July 2010, Rated R. (Based on actual events)

Best Week Ever

Happy MLK Day everyone, to honor him I took a nap and had a dream. I dreamed that I won the lottery and asked that they give me the money all in coins and I had all the coins put into a giant pool and I got to go swimming in it, like Scrooge McDuck from Duck Tales. I do not think this is the same dream MLK had or envisioned but I can not control my dreams, so stop asking me to.

Anyway by reading the title above you probably can not tell that I am being sarcastic. It really was the Best Stressful, Sleepless, Annoying, Painful, Week Ever, but that is not a catchy title. Where to begin, as many of you knew already I had my two biggest games of the year last Friday and Saturday as we took on defending NCAA Champions Michigan State, plus it was my first TV game. I thought I was all prepared and felt confident about it until Friday. I was on cloud nine, then I crashed and hit the ground. So many little things that add up that made it stressful as hell that I do not want to go into all the details but I also did not get the turn out I was hoping for, we had 11,000 tickets out to the public but only had about 6800 in the building. That was a major disappointment to me but we did have a cool promotion during intermission here are the pictures of Script Ohio on Ice:

The band coming on to the ice

"O..."
"Oh..."

"Ohi..."
"Ohio"

Finally, the dotting of the "i"

I'm back

I know it has been a while since my last posting but because of the writers strike, my show was put on hiatus. I know this comes as a shock to many of my loyal readers that I have writers for my blog, but to maintain a consistent quality blog entry each time I look to my writers to help out. Many of your favorite moments have come from my blog writers, such as Pat Moment #257, Pat Moment #346, and who could forget Pat Moment #59. While I come back to my blog without my writers I just would like to say how I am still in support of the writers strike, I came back because I had to help keep the jobs of my other workers on set of this blog. This blog will not be as good as if I had my writers but I will live up to the quality that my readers except. Let's begin...

So...how about that political race going on...alot of funny things going on there. Let's see what else is in the news...did you hear about that Hannah Montana uses a body double at her concerts, I bet she got the idea from Ashley Simpson... (cough cough), maybe I should stick more to me than what is going on in the world. I am in the middle of the Ohio State Ice Hockey season and things are heating up as I have my two biggest games of the year Friday Jan. 18 and Sat. the 19th as we take on defending NCAA National Champions Michigan State, if you have the Big Ten Network you can see my game live on Friday at 7pm (eastern time) we are excepting a good crowd and this is my first game I am the game coordinator that will be live on TV so make sure to tune in and see me coordinate the game. Well I will keep attempting to give you quality blogs without my writers, but make sure to support the writers.